This school year has been a difficult one. I started thinking about how much of what made this year so difficult for me was a product of my own creation. I got so caught up in trying to do everything asked of me that I broke. I stopped caring about almost everything. I spent my time focused on what would improve test scores and how best to prepare students for an AP exam that I made myself crazy. I really felt like quitting. I am fortunate to have understanding friends who work in the same field and they listened to me complain, repeatedly, about my plight. I also have a very supportive husband who makes me feel like I am the most important person in the world and helps me any way he can to do everything. Lastly, I am grateful for a child whose struggle to learn what the world expects of her in a way that is counter-intuitive to her doesn't dampened her free-spirit and it continues to inspire me to do better. If she can learn how to put a story in sequential order, I can learn how to make that digital breakout or Screencastify video. She never loses heart. Even when she's crying with frustration, she will try one more time to do the work correctly. A recent disappointment left me with a decision to make, fight it or accept it. Whenever I find myself stuck like this, I think of a poem my father shared with me years ago. The poem is called "What Will Matter" by Michael Josephson who is a renowned scholar and lawyer focusing on ethics education. As I read through the poem, again, it reminded me that I have been called upon in this life to serve others. My life of service affords me the ability to help students and colleagues alike, become the best version of themselves. At times, it is difficult to be humble and not wish to have something else or something more but it is nice to know that when someone needs a hand, they know mine is there willing to assist. I am going to "choose a life that matters" and embrace the coming school year with all the fervor I have in me. I will worry less about standards (shh) and worry more about the learning. I will use what I have learned from mentors both in real-life and the professional development books I read to become better at helping students achieve success in the learning so that they too can "choose a life that matters." This is what I've learned this year and I look forward to more "learning out loud" with you, dear reader, in the years to come.
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AuthorMy name is Sarah Todd and I teach freshmen and junior English in Southern California. Archives
August 2018
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