Every year it never fails, I get the teaching blues. Each year I begin optimistic and enthusiastic that this year will be different than last year and it seldom is the case. I have all these ideas and desires from a summer of teaching conferences and professional learning and I am ready to implement and start the process and reality rarely lives up to the expectations or the desired effects one initially is hoping for on the outset.
It's during this time where reflecting on my teaching becomes increasingly important. My new reading program seems to be working as students come to class prepared to read and they're talking about books which is an improvement from last year. My 9th grade classes are reading lengthy, challenging texts that in years past I may have avoided like the plague, but they are reading. We practice concepts like tone and mood. We've been examining author's craft, text types and their structures. They've been writing a bit which I want to increase the volume substantially, just trying to figure out the logistics. Almost all of my students are using the chrome books provided by the district and teaching each other how to use certain tools along the way. I hear the grumblings of the students "This is really hard" "Can't we just use paper?" and the modern era's version of "dog ate my homework" "My internet was down." Listening to them complain is not fun but it does give me feedback for trying the process a different way. Teaching AP Language and Composition is not for the meek and I have developed a greater respect for the people who teach this course. I've had a difficult start with transitioning my Honors courses up to AP and including new students in the mix as well, but I'm starting to find my stride with the course and that's always a good feeling when teaching a new course. I'm grateful to have friends who teach the course and one friend in particular has been extremely giving of her time and resources to help me figure out this beast. So, maybe not everything is exactly as I would like it to be given the amount of time we've been in session this year but at least I'm still trying new methods and the students are figuring out my expectations and how to meet them. I cannot really ask for more than that. As my former basketball coach used to say, "The biggest room in the house is the room for improvement."
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So, today in my 9th grade classes we had a first writer's workshop. When my students write, I write as well, but I've found writing on the board is a pain in the neck for me so I write in a journal. We wrote for two minutes, then two more minutes, then for five more minutes. At the end of nine minutes of writing some students had pages of writing (which shocked me) while others had about half a page (just like me) which was more expected. I always share my writing with them and they shared with each other. We're just beginning a memory writing piece, or narrative in CCSS terms. When I saw how much some of my students wrote I thought, GAME CHANGER! Homework in my class is to read for 20 minutes a night from their independent reading books. The majority of my students do not seem to be doing this and I had an epiphany, let them do what they want with those 20 minutes. If they want to read, let them. If they want to write, let them. This is not a new concept, I know, but my students seemed excited about having choice and, honestly, I just want them practicing. I've included the assignment in my post (hopefully it works) but if it doesn't and you'd like to see it, let me know!
One of the biggest challenges we face in classrooms of any class size is really getting to know our students. When we have high numbers, such as 40, of students in a class it can be difficult to really get to know our students. Over the years, I've developed a system for building relationships with students which I've blogged about before but it's worth talking about again, and that's the power of listening.
Sometimes our students come to us and we are the only adult they see during the day who really pays attention to them. I have some challenging students in my 9th grade classes this year. Other teachers might call them annoying, I may have done the same a time or two, but what they really are is a puzzle to solve. Solving the puzzle is the key to helping them grow as students, but it's also the key to building lasting relationships with our students. The academic learning is important, yes, but the growth of spirit and development of self are just as important. I was recently speaking with a friend of mine who is a therapist specializing in working with children and adolescents of all abilities. She was telling me about the importance of just sitting and observing the behaviors of a client before figuring out a treatment plan. It made perfect sense to me. My students work in cooperative groups all the time, right now they are seated alphabetically, but soon I will start doing some mixed-level grouping. The grouping is problematic at times but when the students work together all I do is listen. I listen and develop a plan. I listen and I hear a student complain about his lack of interest in his independent reading book. I listen and I hear a student complain about close reading strategies. I listen and I hear who fights with their mom on the way to school every day. I listen and I hear them helping each other. I listen and I develop a plan. I bring a chair over to the group complaining about close reading strategies and ask what they don't like about it. "I just don't see the point." I listen and respond, "Have you ever watched a movie more than once?" "Yes." "Did you notice something the second time you watched it that you didn't the first time?" "Ohh, yeah. I get it now. We miss stuff that helps us understand better." "Yes, I understand that sometimes reading a text again can be tedious, especially when you don't find the text particularly interesting, but we have to practice just the same." "I got you, Ms. Todd." Did other people hear our conversation? Yes, and I'm glad. Then we talk about independent reading book choices and I ask the student how they came to choose the book they had. "I thought it was going to be about something other than what it's about." "Oh, what's this book about?" "Vampires, they suck." "Haha, well I see that you've read about thirty pages and I think that's pretty good for a book you lost interest in pretty much at the start. What topics interest you?" "I like learning about World War II." It just so happens I share an interest in historical fiction, particularly war literature, so I grabbed from my shelf Missing in Action by Dean Hughes. I haven't read the book personally, but I showed him that book and another by Hughes and he said he would try it. He told me he's liking the book. This kid said he hated reading two weeks ago and I know he's going to finish this book and go for another. I'm excited about the prospects of his development and I'm looking forward to watching him become a reader this year. Oh, reading their blogs are a great way of listening to them too but that's a post for another day. In the meantime, if you see one of my students ask them, "What are you reading?"
My previous post went untagged because I was annoyed at myself for a litany of complaining. I felt out of sorts and I still do but still, one must press on for the good of the fleet. I had always believed that the first day of school set the tone for the entire year. I tried something new this year and I didn't like it because I felt like a phony. What I mean by phony is that I didn't feel like I was being my authentic self. I had been told multiple times last year by someone whose opinion matters to me that I needed to change aspects of myself so that students felt less threatened by me. I have spent months reconsidering everything I say and do in the classroom and as a result, on the first day of school, I did not know who to be. I did what others said I should do, rather than doing what I felt comfortable with, but that isn't and wasn't the problem. The problem was, I did it for the wrong reasons. I cannot stand in front of my students five days a week and tell them to be authentic if I am not walking the walk. So, after consulting with a trusted ally, I decided to hit the reset button, particularly with my 9th grade classes where I was feeling the most vulnerable and at-risk of losing student interest before I'd ever engaged them in the first place.
I took the weekend to really think about what I wanted to stress in regards to my expectations for students, especially in regards to their behavior, and so far the behavior has been better. There haven't been any water bottle flips since I banned that from my class, a first for me, but considering it's never been a problem until this year I guess it's not life-changing. I will say though that a water bottle flip in the back of the room will let you know much your lesson lacks engagement.
On a more positive note, my students have come to class prepared and they're turning in their work and their first test seems to have yielded good results. Onward and upward!
My previous post waxed poetic about the glories of Professional Development and what it provides to teachers in terms of motivation and excitement to try something new. I stand by everything I said BUT reality is a dish best served cold. The two days leading up to our first day of school were weird. I was there but I didn't feel like I was really accomplishing anything. We had a day of staff development which was a series of meetings that reminded me that my job is not always fun. The meetings had me thinking about complying with requests from administration and the district and slowly my enthusiasm for doing what I think/thought was best dissipated. I did not take anything that was talked about personally, but it did cause me to rethink my teaching and what I had originally set out as my goals for the school year. I spent so much time thinking that I really didn't get enough work done on my physical classroom aesthetic. I still don't have my room entirely ready: bulletin boards aren't covered and I still haven't taken out my box of supplies from my cabinet. In an effort to reduce transition time and increase discussion, I rearranged my seating this year. I wanted to have tables but the desks are working for now. As you can see I have my seats arranged in groups but I still have some singleton desks, which have proven to be helpful and necessary. Wednesday comes and I am ready, but I'm not because we aren't supposed to go over procedures and the course syllabus anymore. We are supposed to build community. I do my planned community building activities and when my prep rolls around 6th period, I realize that my students really do not know what my expectations are for them and the feeling it brings me makes me physically ill. Thursday I decide, mid-lesson, I want to get all the students on my new chrome books the district has supplied us with. Technology gives me hives and makes me feel like a fraud often and I do not recommend using tech on the second day of school, at least not tech that requires log-in information, sigh. Students in my 9th grade classes especially still don't really understand my expectations for them after day two and this is a problem for me and will be a problem later. Here's the bottom-line. I was not my authentic self the first days of school. My persona was that of a person who did not know what they are doing and as a result, I feel like I have already lost control of my 9th grade classes in particular. Each class has 38 and 40 students respectively, there needs to be a clear an establishment of clear expectations from the beginning of the year and since that has not been provided, I am going to have a challenging year ahead of me. Build community, it's important, I know. We also have to be ourselves and I wasn't for the first two weeks of school. is it too late to change this? Was I asking or expecting too much from 9th graders in regards to their maturity? I really don't know but I'm worried I will spend most of my school year correcting behavior instead of helping students improve their reading and writing skills. I'm trying to figure out how to use their chattiness to my advantage but can't really think of anything that will help at this time. They say the best learning comes from pushing yourself outside your comfort zone and for my sake, I hope that is true otherwise this will be a very long and challenging year, indeed. I have been extremely fortunate this summer to attend various professional development conferences and conference-like events. Each professional development has left me feeling like my brain was going to explode from all of the ideas produced from the ideas and methods presented. Processing all of the great information and figuring out how I will implement them into an already packed curriculum had me feeling stressed. Many of the great English teachers who are also researchers and leaders in the methods/ideologies of English education are teaching in environments different from my own and it's easy to scoff, as I often have, that they're afforded certain privileges because of who they are. The thing is, I think they are afforded privileges because they have pushed the envelope and doing so has proven time and time again to be effective teaching and they aren't going to stop being themselves for any reason. If students are excited to read and write and growing as citizens of the world, the circumstances surrounding this learning doesn't really matter. That teacher has taken an interest in their students' individual success and that means more to the students than "following the curriculum guide" ever will. There's an element of risk in throwing out the rule book completely though. Others will question rationale, motives, and may even perceive one's actions as a threat (I will never understand this one, by the way). I do not think what my plans are for this school year are worthy of the word "risk" but I think they are worthy of taking a deep cleansing breath. My intention this school year is to change the way I work with my freshmen classes. I'm planning to use more of a workshop approach to teaching them reading and writing (Think a combination of Penny Kittle's Book Love and Linda Rief's Writers Readers Notebook). I think this method will allow me to successfully blend all the elements required of me as a teacher in regards to piloting reading materials while fostering a love of reading and helping students developing their voice as writers. Penny Kittle structures her classroom time like this: There are block days built into the schedule she follows but Linda Rief is working with 43 minute periods and she follows a similar schedule. This made me think, well, why not try it? Maybe I won't be able to fit everything into every class period every day but trying won't hurt anything. What I like best about the workshop model is the conferencing. With 39 students in a class, freshmen classes are usually packed, it seems like there isn't enough time in a day to meet with everyone, however, after listening to Kelly Gallagher speak at CATE this year, it seemed possible to meet with a few students during the silent reading period students are given during class. Students get 10 minutes of class time to read silently each day and I know you're thinking, that's it?!, because I was too but I swear it works. We have to remember that 10 minutes of reading for one kid will feel like an hour depending on their reading fluency and if each conference lasts about 2-2 1/2 minutes that's way more students than I was conferencing with before, which was almost zero. I will have to learn more about my students and possibly have to tweak the schedule here and there to accommodate every students need and my own. The idea of getting to know all of my students better is what most excites me about implementing the workshop model.
I have spent too much time worrying about what other people think of me, especially when it comes to my teaching, and there was a time when that mattered (though I can't think of a reason why). It's time to stop worrying about that and start making a bigger impact in the lives of my students and I'm optimistic this is the first step on a journey from trying to be a good teaching to just being a good teacher, maybe even a great one. I'm always excited (anxious) for the first day of school, and even with all the piles of stuff on my plate this year, I'm looking forward to challenging myself as an educator, challenging my students to become better communicators, and sharing the trials and tribulations with those of you who read this blog. In the words of my favorite Chris Farley character Tommy Boy, "Let's do this, it's go time!" I don't know what prompted it but somewhere along the line we started to turn on each other. I've been reading a lot of posts on Twitter and blogs lately from various educators that I find alarming. We keep reiterating the fact that not all students are the same and we need to honor them by meeting them where they are. I believe this is important for students to grow as learners, I really do, but shouldn't teachers be allowed to grow on their own time as well? Are we pushing good teachers out of their comfort zone for the right reasons? Are we allowing them time to develop as learners as well? I'm reading blog posts that talk about how asking students to be compliant is a detriment to their learning but aren't we also building citizens of the world? Isn't compliance, to an extent, necessary to achieve goals in our lives? I didn't want to buy another binder to submit my portfolio for my master's degree but I had to comply if I wanted to finish my program. Maybe that is a rather facetious example but I think you'll understand my rationale.
Homework has become the route of all evil (which is honestly how I felt about it while in school) students don't do it, teachers don't give it out, but the needs of the elementary level educator and the needs of the secondary level educator are different. I don't know enough about how elementary teachers are required to structure their day to speak to that and maybe I need to learn more, but I do know they see their students for hours every day, so it makes sense to eliminate or limit the amount of homework being assigned. However, in the secondary classroom, we only see our students for a block of time. Some schools have 47 minute classes, others have 57 minutes (this is the time we are given at the school I work at), and some have the block schedule which, depending on the school, can last anywhere from an hour and fifteen minutes to two hours long, but teachers do not see their students every day. It's complicated but hopefully every teacher does their best to fill the time with meaningful activities. The problem that stems from this structure is a lack of sufficient time to do everything during a class period, so homework is necessary. It should be reasonable for me to have my students read a chapter of a class novel or work on their essay independently at home because I shouldn't have to read every word of a book to my students in order to get them to read it. I have done it, I admit it, but I did not like how much time it took to get through it. Nor should I have to sit next to a student while they are typing their paper. We want our students to go on to college after high school is over, can anyone remember a professor reading an entire book to them in college? I cannot. And if they had, then I would have probably laughed at them for bailing me out of my responsibility of doing the work. If teachers want to assign homework, then they should be able to do so. If a teacher wants to assign a consequence from a student not completing said homework, then they should be able to do so. Do we have a right, as their colleagues, to put them down and call them bad teachers just because we don't support their process? We have expectations and compliance obligations we must meet as teachers as well. Using technology has always been important in education. If at the end of the school year, more teachers are collecting work using digital sources to do so, shouldn't we celebrate that rather than admonish the teachers for using the technology the "wrong way"? Couldn't we make the argument that the country school teachers in the one room classrooms back on the prairie were misusing the technology of pencil and paper by having students produce work using those when a glance at the slate would have been suffice to see if the student understood the concepts being taught? All hyperbole aside, if a teacher who was against using technology two years ago is embracing it now, then we should celebrate that. Telling them they are using technology incorrectly could have an adverse effect of them not wanting to use the it at all. It's like we forget that we are all life-long learners or something. I don't want those who read this to feel like I think all teachers are beyond reproach. What I do want those who read this to remember is that the only way teachers are going to improve themselves is with the support from one another. This coming school year presents itself as a great unknown for me. I'll be piloting textbooks and teaching a new course. While I'm looking forward to the changes on the horizon there is always a sense of uncertainty when trying anything new. Other people believing in your abilities absolutely helps when trying to make changes in our lives, but for me at least (and I'm sure most of us are this way), I have to believe I can do it.
Recently, I was attending a Digital Educator Institute (professional development) in my school district and was watching as women and men 20+ years my senior were delving into the world of Twitter, Google docs, Google apps, etc. and they were nervous, but they did it anyway. It made me think, if they can do this then I can do what I'm being asked/have volunteered to do. I'm about as nervous as I can be about these new challenges that are coming my way. I am going to teach AP Language and Composition next year and even though I'm going to learn all about the class and the test, it's still a bit worrisome that I won't be good enough. I have a feeling many of my students will be feeling the same way, if they don't already. I'm thinking the best I can do for them is make them the promise I make to all my students: I will do my absolute best to help them be successful as long as they keep showing up and trying. This is a short post for me but I needed to write these feelings down so I can go to work on making the next school year great. Zoinks! It's the end of the school year! What a crazy, fun ride this year has been. This year has been challenging and so much fun. I look out as my Student-Teacher gives his first final exam ever and I see my students working hard on their in-class essay, showing what they have learned and understand about Modernist literature. I'm so proud of them. They really worked their behinds off this year. My goal was to prepare them for whatever the state tests, college, or life had to throw at them and teach them to question everything that they hear and read. Although the letter grade on their report card may not reflect all they have learned (that's a topic for another day) I know that they've thought deeper and more richly about words and their power. I challenged and pushed my students to think more than I ever have before and they rose to the challenge. My students in my honors class loved blogging this year and I plan to continue that for next year. This is my second year using Kelly Gallagher's Article of the Week and the students really saw the value in this assignment when they were working on their state tests. I'm going to continue my Three Books Project in my honors 11 classes (I have two next year!!) and am going to try to create a reading nook in my classroom too. With 39 teenage-sized bodies it's challenging to find the space, but I think they'll like it. I'm looking forward to the professional learning I have planned for this summer. Incorporating chrome books more into instruction, increasing literacy tools, and learning the ins and outs of the AP Language and Composition course that I will be teaching a section of for the first time next year. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about taking on such a course but the only way to learn is to try. I almost forgot I'm piloting textbooks next year too! It's going to be crazy, but hopefully a good crazy. I have my new website for my classes up and running. I will work on that some more over the summer too. My major plan for the summer is spending quality time with my daughter. She's my favorite person on planet earth and I am grateful every day that I know her. She's on the spectrum and she's high-functioning and she makes me look at life in a completely different way. Her way of looking at the world is beautiful and she forces me to get my behind outside to play with her. She loves to hike, run, ride her bike, and swim. If you can't find me, I'm probably at the beach.
Long before the folks at Disney lambasted us with Elsa the Ice Queen's soliloquy, "Let It Go," the idea of letting go of our assumptions of other people's perception of us have affected every choice that we make. Some of us are like Elsa and are afraid to be our true self for fear of repeating past mistakes. Some of us are like Anna and we are so desperate for someone to like us that we allow a person, Prince Hans for example, to con us into believing that their dreams are ours as well and take advantage of us. Then there are the fortunate few who are like Olaf and just get along with everyone and do not seem to care either way what anyone thinks of them. We love Olaf because he is sincere and honest (and totally cute). Aside from the fact that I have obviously seen "Frozen" too many times, the truth of the matter is the idea of letting go inside and outside of the classroom is the very real struggle everyone involved in education must face during their time of service.
Over the last few years, I have been thinking about the idea of gradual release of responsibility. GRR is the technique of taking oneself out of the equation as the teacher and allowing students the freedom and responsibility to control the learning that happens in the classroom. I have struggled with GRR over the course of my teaching career to the detriment of my students and their learning. Cooperative learning groups, paired activities, even individual tasks were heavily dictated by what I wanted to see from my students. I felt as though it was my responsibility to teach AND learn the materials. My need for control stemmed from my lack of respect of my students' abilities to be responsible, thoughtful people. Yes, teenagers can be irresponsible and thoughtless in their behavior but the process of learning for teenagers does not always follow suit. If a teacher is doing their job well, then theoretically it is possible for students to take the metaphorical bull by the horns and do the grunt work involved with learning on their own because their teacher has shown them how.
I was afraid that if my students were working independently and silently people would assume the students were doing "busy work." I was afraid that if students were working in a group that one person would learn and the rest of the group would sit around and talking about the party on Friday night. People would think that my class is a joke because I don't do enough independent learning tasks. I built a prison of uncertainty around myself as a teacher and, as a result, felt like I was everything I assumed people were thinking about me as a teacher. I allowed my perception of others' perception of me to stall my own learning and growth as an educator.
I started watching a video on Teacher Channel with Sarah Brown Wessling (like the one of posted here) and it hit me, that if I establish the expectations for what students are to accomplish while working independently or within a group, then I would be able to afford students the ability to become independent/cooperative learners in regards to how they accomplish that feat or demonstrate their learning. It took awhile for me to feel comfortable letting go of absolute control of the classroom. I'm not talking about managing behavior, but allowing for students to take responsibility of their learning has made my life as a teacher easier. Once it began to click for me, my teaching became better and my students learned more.
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AuthorMy name is Sarah Todd and I teach freshmen and junior English in Southern California. Archives
August 2018
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